tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14044684738354265992024-02-19T13:43:15.324-05:00Reverend Shari: Adventures of a Wedding OfficiantShari performs weddings in New York and the surrounding area for couples who want a custom ceremony. It is her absolute joy to "marry you up good."Reverend Sharihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11703970918639106240noreply@blogger.comBlogger16125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1404468473835426599.post-50762837070758685332017-09-11T10:58:00.001-04:002017-09-11T10:58:54.734-04:00Rev Shari will marry you up good!This past weekend, I had the pleasure of marrying two dear friends, at a rooftop venue in Little Neck. I've known A for 25 years or so, and J for about 5. It was an amazing wedding, filled with family and friends, old and new. Everyone could feel the tremendous love in the room. L was my trusty assistant, a role he loves. The food was delish, the drinks were flowing and we danced and laughed the night away. It was an absolutely fabulous wedding and a joy for all. And I personally received kudos from many in attendance, if I do say so myself.<br />
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Now, many people who did not know before have discovered my secret identity as The Rev. I answered many questions about how I got here, why I run around marrying people up good. So I've dug back into the archives to show you my first post as Rev Shari. I still feel the same way: Love is good.<br />
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Best wishes to the bride and groom. May we celebrate many happy occasions in the future.<br />
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This is what I was thinking about when I woke up this morning:<br /><br /><b>Religion</b>:
all cultures seem to have some, as far as I can tell. Culture and
religion are often intertwined and it's hard to know where one begins
and the other ends. In the best scenario, religion makes us stronger
and better. We all know what happens in the worst scenario. Is there a
God who watches us? or one who set the universe in motion and then
keeps hands off? Is there no God? Many gods?<br /><br />
So I rolled over and went back to sleep.<br /><br /><b>Ritual</b>:
some people say that ritual without belief is hollow or wrong. I know
that for me, ritual has meaning that is independent of faith. Ritual
gives shape to our days and our years. Would you start a new semester
with old notebooks? Not me. The ritual of purchasing notebooks, pens,
perhaps a special accessory is part of preparing my mind for the new
term. It marks the importance of the fresh start at hand.<br /><br />Similarly,
when I marry a couple, I try to make the service fit the needs and
desires of each of them. I encourage them to respect the religions,
traditions and rituals of their families of origin. Legally, I can
marry you up in a minute or two (cue the rushed sitcom wedding--"I do,"
"I do" "Inowpronounceyouhusbandandwife youmaykissthebride") but why not
make it as meaningful to you both as it can be?<br /><br />My own wedding
vows were straight up Jewish. I met the rabbi that day (we were using a
synagogue with a catering hall, not the local rabbi I grew up with) and
held the napkin without really knowing what was happening. The words
that he said under the chuppah were a mix of ritually required (all good
with that!) and puzzlingly odd platitudes on the nature of marriage.
Something about a house with no doors you can only get in from
inside...huh? One of his pronouncements was later found on a box of
Celestial Seasoning tea!<br /><br />Years later, I watched my cousins get
married by a Justice of the Peace on Cape Cod. That was a job I wanted!
To stand with a couple on one of the most hopeful, special days of
their life--to use the power of my voice to actually create a new
relationship! I kept this dream on the back burner for over 15 years,
but now, finally, I am doing it. <b>Reverend Shari will marry you up good!</b>Reverend Sharihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11703970918639106240noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1404468473835426599.post-57771997448680620982011-07-31T09:26:00.001-04:002011-07-31T09:49:33.913-04:00Rev Shari marries them up good with Marriage Equality in the Pop Up Chapel<a href="http://www.wpix.com/news/w%E2%80%8Bpix-pop-up-same-sex-marria%E2%80%8Bge-story,0,5641115.story">See me marry Melvin and Alphonso in the Pop Up Chapel!</a><br />
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<a href="http://news.blogs.cnn.com/2011/07/30/new-yorkers-celebrate-same-sex-marriage-in-pop-up-wedding-chapels/">Read about the day at CNN's blog</a><br />
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The Pop Up Chapel event in Central Park on July 30, 2011 was just...tremendous! I was scheduled to use the chapel made out of rainbow ribbons both times...kind of like a chuppah, but not quite! Melvin and Alphonso were so sweet, and their moms and friends were so supportive. They loved the broom I had decorated for the Jumping of the Broom, which you can see in the above video clip. Congrats to Alphonso and Melvin, best wishes for many years of happiness together.<br />
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Gabrielle and Jacqueline were married an hour or so later. The vows they wrote were so sweet, even I was tearing up! What a beautiful young couple--all the best to them! I'll post any photos I can find later...it was a bit chaotic! Brides, grooms, if you are reading this, send me some photos and videos. <br />
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The volunteers were great, the couples were great, the guests, the photogs, the observers...it was an incredibly positive day and I was happy to be a part of it! <br />
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As I told the interviewer from CNN: Life is short. Love is good.Reverend Sharihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11703970918639106240noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1404468473835426599.post-53177822811018785952011-07-20T12:36:00.002-04:002011-07-20T12:37:51.788-04:00Yet more fun with Marriage Equality!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgSxdmSP3jIv-rWBbIKM07XrdwqnVt9HqSYw3AHbQ98zfEEQDonnslSe-Zg9pn6s-h3EupOZn26U2Kg1gIK5zMCwLYv-507pEooXChV8xRakgVz_gt4t7A-BauqqAWm0xFYZSH_Q8kAdkOB/s1600/save+your+dateback+copy.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="306" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgSxdmSP3jIv-rWBbIKM07XrdwqnVt9HqSYw3AHbQ98zfEEQDonnslSe-Zg9pn6s-h3EupOZn26U2Kg1gIK5zMCwLYv-507pEooXChV8xRakgVz_gt4t7A-BauqqAWm0xFYZSH_Q8kAdkOB/s400/save+your+dateback+copy.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>Reverend Sharihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11703970918639106240noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1404468473835426599.post-85090742984625077882011-07-19T07:50:00.004-04:002011-07-19T12:07:26.483-04:00Rev Shari will marry 'em up good in the Pop Up Chapel!In celebration of New York State Marriage Equality, a wonderful group of volunteers has created the <a href="http://www.popupchapel.com/">Pop Up Chapel</a>. There is a competition afoot to design a small outdoor chapel, which will be popping up in Central Park. On July 30, 2011, there will be ceremonies going on all day long, and Rev Shari will be performing two of those ceremonies! I can't tell you too many details yet, but click thru to follow along as the details emerge.<br />
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Happy Marriage Equality!<br />
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Edited to add: here is an <a href="http://cityroom.blogs.nytimes.com/2011/07/19/central-park-chapels-to-pop-up-for-gay-marriages/">article</a> about it in the New York Times with a few more details!Reverend Sharihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11703970918639106240noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1404468473835426599.post-88296223062558169842011-06-28T13:47:00.002-04:002011-06-28T14:15:15.345-04:00Rev Shari marries them up good on Governor's IslandHow fun is Governor's Island? This past weekend was the Jazz Age Lawn Party, where you could go to get your Gatsby on. A and R decided to have a simple ceremony in the shadow of the Castle, with lower Manhattan as their backdrop. What could be more beautiful than that? I took the free ferry across from Atlantic Avenue, and the bridal party took the free ferry from lower Manhattan, right next to the Staten Island ferry.<br /><br />If you have a small wedding party, it is pretty easy to find a little nook or cranny to get married in with relative privacy anywhere in the city. As soon as people see my "Judge Judy" gown, they realize it is a wedding, and keep a respectful distance. Weddings that occur early or late in the day are most likely to feel private while being out in the open air. It's a great way to get married--especially when you have a bright, sunny day, with a few puffy clouds in a perfectly blue sky.<br /><br />The ceremony leaned heavily on what the bride and groom requested, and what they told me about how they felt about life, marriage and each other. It took me a while to figure out how to work in a reading from My Personal Penguin, but I did, and it was an excellent touch. Everyone thought the ceremony was spot-on, which of course, makes it all worthwhile for me! I sure love to marry people up good!<br /><br />There are magazines, TV channels, elderly aunts, and snooty acquaintances who are all ready to tell you the one right way to get married. They will tell you what to wear, what to serve, where to go, down to the last detail. Well, here's the real deal: you can do whatever you like and you need not apologize for it. Why not take advantage of the free or low-price offerings around the city to create the backdrop for your day--it's great fun, and it might be just your style. Make your wedding your own, starting with the venue, and, of course, the officiant--me.<br /><br />Mazel tov and congrats to A and R, and all the best for their future together.Reverend Sharihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11703970918639106240noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1404468473835426599.post-32285413100873008432011-06-26T19:54:00.003-04:002011-07-05T10:34:59.101-04:00Marriage Equality arrives in New York!Reverend Shari will marry you up good, and now, she will marry you up good if you are both "fancy on the outside" or both "fancy on the inside" (as Mr. Rogers said). Special prices in August for you early birds who have been waiting for same sex marriage in New York to become law and are READY to book a date. Let's cook up some great fun weddings, everybody! Woo hoo.<br /><br /><a href="http://www.nycgo.com/articles/nyc-i-do">Here's</a> a link to the FAQ about the nuts and bolts of getting a license, etc. Can you get married in NYC if you live elsewhere? YES! Take a look. New York is the best place ever to get married!Reverend Sharihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11703970918639106240noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1404468473835426599.post-59074521230538812042011-05-15T10:27:00.003-04:002011-05-15T10:52:28.731-04:00Reverend Shari marries 'em up good in the South Bronx<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos-h.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-ash4/226944_1688195971952_1449285032_31327344_171636_s.jpg"><img style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 98px; height: 130px;" src="http://photos-h.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-ash4/226944_1688195971952_1449285032_31327344_171636_s.jpg" border="0" alt="" /></a><br />Those of you who know me, know that I have an excellent sense of direction. I even have a friend who calls me Rand McNally as a running joke. So was it the fact that I was busy talking to my trusty assistant, or the fact that I did not write down the exit number, or the fact that the South Bronx always confuses me...well, for whatever reason, I was a bit off track, when a handsome, young police man said "just follow me" and guided me to my location for K and T's wedding. My luck changed at that point, because I got a parking spot so good it was a shame to go home afterward! <br /><br />K and T's wedding was in the Community Room of their building. Everything was decorated in yellow with a touch of green, to match the attendants' outfits. The room was transformed into what felt like a garden wedding, and the DJ had the music ready to rip. The couple looked stunning, the photographer was snapping, and the ring bearer...total cutie!<br /><br />I followed the wishes of the bride and groom, and crafted a ceremony with some poetry, some Bible, and some personal stories. I switched back and forth between Spanish and English throughout, which suited the (mostly bilingual) crowd just fine. The couple met on City Island, one of my favorite stomping grounds, so I was sure to work that into the ceremony. Who was it who made the first move that fateful night? Let's hope the couple continues to debate this for many years of health and happiness to come. Best wishes to K and T!Reverend Sharihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11703970918639106240noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1404468473835426599.post-6640339856683144392010-10-31T10:30:00.004-04:002010-10-31T10:52:51.528-04:00Secret Wedding Locations in New York CityThe city that never sleeps, right? New York is always alive, always on the move, and always at a breakneck pace. But, as New York's hustle and bustle goes whizzing by, if you slow down, you might see some small, secret spaces. These are places where you can breathe, and enjoy nature. Of course, there are many spots in public parks where you can experience this calm, but Rev Shari has a few secret locations up the billowing sleeve of her minister's robe.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Kayaking dock in Brooklyn</span> In this location, you have lovely wild gardens, expansive green lawns, and the opportunity to kayak. I can't say too much about it...it's a secret! This location is not free, but it is affordable. You provide your own catering, or you head off to any of a number of wonderful nearby restaurants. Appropriate for small groups or elopements.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Yacht club on City Island (Bronx) </span>You may have seen the movie shot on City Island recently--if not, I strongly recommend it. My secret location is not shown in the movie, but it offers remarkable views of the city, the Throgs Neck Bridge, and beautiful sailboats. Catering is on premises, and delicious. The chef will work with you on a menu. This venue is offbeat and shabby chic, in a nautical way. The dining room seats about 75 but would be perfect for a smaller wedding. There is even an outdoor balcony for bouquet tossing. If you want to go really nautical, you can be married ON a sailboat!<br /><br />Do you want to get married on the Cyclone? On the Brooklyn Bridge? In a subway tunnel? In a hansom cab? A yellow cab? Rev Shari will work with you on any of these...but these are not-so-secret! Let's cook up a wedding that suits you, and Rev Shari will marry you up good.<span style="font-weight: bold;"> </span><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:worddocument> <w:view>Normal</w:View> <w:zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:punctuationkerning/> <w:validateagainstschemas/> <w:saveifxmlinvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid> <w:ignoremixedcontent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent> <w:alwaysshowplaceholdertext>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText> <w:compatibility> <w:breakwrappedtables/> <w:snaptogridincell/> <w:wraptextwithpunct/> <w:useasianbreakrules/> <w:dontgrowautofit/> </w:Compatibility> <w:browserlevel>MicrosoftInternetExplorer4</w:BrowserLevel> </w:WordDocument> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:latentstyles deflockedstate="false" latentstylecount="156"> </w:LatentStyles> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 10]> <style> /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:"Table Normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; mso-para-margin:0in; mso-para-margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:10.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-ansi-language:#0400; mso-fareast-language:#0400; mso-bidi-language:#0400;} </style> <![endif]--> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 10pt; font-family: Arial;"> </span><br /></p>Reverend Sharihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11703970918639106240noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1404468473835426599.post-2129324637355917582010-10-07T08:56:00.001-04:002010-10-07T08:58:13.305-04:00A & J: Reverend Shari marries them up good in Central ParkThe rain finally stopped and the sun was shining through a few puffy clouds. It was a perfect day in Central Park (if you could avoid mud puddles). The wedding was planned for the sitting area around Shakespeare's statue at the foot of The Mall (not Shakespeare's Garden much farther uptown). Rev Shari started with the well-known sonnet that begins "Shall I compare thee to a summer's day?" and ended with another snippet from The Bard. It was a great Central Park wedding--the bridal party, the family members, the friends, the bicyclists, the teenagers, the tourists, the baby carriage brigade...everyone was there. It was truly a good thing that Rev Shari had her trusty Happie Amp along, so that everyone could hear the service. This mini-amp travels in a small satchel and is great for large crowds or outdoor spaces. In the end, Rev Shari married them up good, with a much bigger crowd than expected!<br /><br />As in all great pursuits in life, a wedding has a lot of details and many strands to be woven together. Sometimes little glitches happen. The groom waited patiently at our outdoor "altar" for his bride, his brother, his future brother-in-law...things got a little confusing. Central Park is a big place, and NYC even bigger. Even with cell phones and all the modern conveniences, things can go awry.<br /><br />Did you know that Reverend Shari only books one wedding a day? Because of this, she can be flexible with last minute changes and delays. She can be a calming force in the swirl.<br /><br />Best of luck to A and J, and remember: all's well that ends well.Reverend Sharihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11703970918639106240noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1404468473835426599.post-820806778753739582010-10-04T09:00:00.003-04:002010-10-04T09:19:30.214-04:00H & M: Reverend Shari marries 'em up good with...Something Old, Something New!H and M were a delightful couple with roots in NYC and deeper roots in Ireland. I recently married them in a Country Club setting in Douglaston, NY. Whoo boy, those two sure love each other. They each had some firm ideas that I honored in crafting the ceremony...<br /><ul><li>Something old: We had a Loving Cup ceremony, where the couple drank mead, poured into an heirloom cup from their own keepsake crystal decanter. At my instruction, they drank to past, present and future love. It was very sweet. (Sweet, get it?) I explained the ancient Northern European tradition of drinking this fermented honey wine for a full month after the wedding--the "honey moon" phase of marriage.<br /></li><li>Something new: As the groom's niece and brother performed a Beatles song, the rings were passed from hand to hand (in a small bag, for safekeeping!) and each family member who held them could add a blessing or wish with the warmth of their hands. The song was extremely well done and a touching additon.<br /></li><li>Something delicate: We found ways to honor those who were not present by including certain prayers and readings, without destroying the joy of the day.</li><li>Something canine: This was the first wedding for me with a Ring Barker! A very well-behaved pooch carried in the faux-rings, decked out in ribbons. Don't they say never work with children and dogs? Rev Shari is always upstaged by these cuties.</li></ul>All in all, it was a very personal and very beautiful ceremony. Why have something off-the-shelf when I will work with you to make your wedding a custom fit?<br /><br />Best of luck to H & M and to NG, furriest ring bearer I've seen so far.Reverend Sharihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11703970918639106240noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1404468473835426599.post-29618130691128667382009-08-29T11:43:00.003-04:002009-08-29T12:16:59.195-04:00S and J: Reverend Shari marries soggy bride and damp groom<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhUiGMf3UkhJGLOY1Zci2POkw9AWidWC0S3K_rSBMKim6592cSIti0Eghk6W4ik98ZPlgPsODg5q158ex9SxBuvjvFxDTxRYJ2py834QHmft3hZlxYoqlLwiCYfnlaoVXKj8AkXaqDNsnY/s400/IMG_7670.JPG"><img style="margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; float: right; cursor: pointer; width: 267px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhUiGMf3UkhJGLOY1Zci2POkw9AWidWC0S3K_rSBMKim6592cSIti0Eghk6W4ik98ZPlgPsODg5q158ex9SxBuvjvFxDTxRYJ2py834QHmft3hZlxYoqlLwiCYfnlaoVXKj8AkXaqDNsnY/s400/IMG_7670.JPG" alt="" border="0" /></a><br />Yesterday's wedding was incredibly beautiful. The sky was grey; the clouds were an endless oppressive blanket over us; and the rain varied from drizzle to pouring and everything in-between. But the faces of the bride, S, and the groom, J, shone brighter than any sun. I even heard the groom tell the bride (paraphrasing here) that he was worried about the weather spoiling the day, until he saw how beautiful she was and forgot everything else.<br /><br /><a href="http://www.queensbotanical.org/home">The Queens Botanical Garden</a> is a wonderful venue for a wedding. The gardens are lovely in all seasons, they have an assortment of wedding packages, and, if it rains, you can use the auditorium, which has a very modern, almost Danish feel to it. J's sisters surprised us with some last-minute additions of tulle on the aisle seats, to soften up the space a bit--and once the chairs were filled with friends and family, the space really felt cozy. The blond wooden wall we stood in front of is sure to make for beautiful portraits--check in with <a href="http://kimberlycoccagnia.blogspot.com/2009/08/queens-wedding.html">Kim </a>for an early peek at the photos.<br /><br />Two scene-stealing kids in this wedding! D was the ring bearer, the 12 year old son of the bride. He was so handsome and personable, it was a pleasure to see him interact with his mom and J. I made him promise to book me for his own wedding, but I guess I will have to wait a while on that. The other was a babe-in-arms, in a pale pink dress and a frilly headband. When I read the part of the service about "Love never fails" from Corinthians, wow, did she agree! That one is born to be a public speaker, or perhaps a wedding officiant.<br /><br />Best of luck to S and J, who surely will have many wonderful sunny days ahead! It was absolutely my pleasure to "marry 'em up good."Reverend Sharihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11703970918639106240noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1404468473835426599.post-47098170381328465472009-06-30T14:29:00.000-04:002009-06-30T15:04:48.581-04:00C and M: Reverend Shari marries Canadians, eh?C and M are indeed Canadian, but they love New York (and each other). On their previous trip to New York, they got engaged, so it seemed fitting to come back and do a small Central Park wedding. C's sister and brother-in-law completed the package--they served as witnesses, photographer and videographer. <br /><br />On the day of the wedding, the clouds cleared and the rain (finally!) stopped for a while. We five walked into the park, to a small clearing the couple had found, right above the Delacorte Theater. There, as you might guess, I married them up good. The ceremony focused on love, friendship and commitment. I wish you all could have seen M's face as he gazed at his beautiful bride. If only I could bottle that!<br /><br />It was a perfect morning wedding in the park.<br /><br />Did you know that you do not need to be a New Yorker to get married here? It's pretty straightforward--check <a href="http://www.reverendshari.com/elope">here</a> for a few details. There is a 24 hour waiting period before you can be married, and the City Clerk is closed on weekends and holidays, so you do need to plan ahead a bit, but really, it is quite simple to do. Why not get married on the Brooklyn Bridge? Or on the Promenade in Brooklyn Heights? I also have a few secret locations around town. If you want to say your wedding vows in a kayak, Reverend Shari is your go-to girl.Reverend Sharihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11703970918639106240noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1404468473835426599.post-6531422742074693352009-06-29T18:23:00.000-04:002009-06-29T18:45:35.770-04:00L and K: Reverend Shari performs a Jewish wedding with Hindu flavorL and K were married in a country club setting in Queens, NY. K is originally from Trinidad, where the couple will have a full Hindu wedding next year; L is from Queens and wanted a Jewish wedding. There are not too many rabbis who will perform an interfaith service, but there is a secret that they do not tell you: in a Jewish wedding, the groom offers to cherish the bride, and the bride agrees to accept the groom. This is (since olden times) the purpose of the ring: if she refuses it, she refuses the marriage. By accepting it in front of witnesses, she seals the deal. The role of the <span style="font-style: italic;">meseder kidushin</span> (wedding officiant) is to be able to read and execute the written contract (<span style="font-style: italic;">ketubah</span>). Don't forget, this is a very old ritual, and reading, especially in a language used only for prayer, was not necessarily a priority back in those days. The rabbi was the most likely person in town who could read and who knew the rules about who was allowed to marry whom, etc. Many people see the <span style="font-style: italic;">ketubah</span> as an antiquated document; they see it as tantamount to "selling" the bride to the groom for the price of a ring. But remember, when Jewish weddings were being conducted by <span style="font-style: italic;">ketubah</span>, weddings in other parts of the world were conducted with no regard for the bride's wishes or rights. (This remains true in some places today.) The <span style="font-style: italic;">ketubah</span> spells out the terms for divorce (a living wage basically) and that the groom must do his part to care for his bride appropriately.<br /><br />Anyway, back to L and K. As you know, I am not a rabbi; I am an interfaith minister, exploring all that is best in all religions. But I can daven real good. And I can sing the Sheva Berachot with great gusto and in tune. L and K stood under the chuppah and had a mix of Hebrew and English, with a nod to some Hindu traditions as well. The assembled guests knew when to respond "Amen" because I gave them the Teacher Look, so they were able to participate in calling down God's blessings on the couple. There was an unfortunate premature breaking of a whole bottle of kosher grape juice, but thankfully Reverend Shari uses white grape!<br /><br />Seeing L and K wrapped together in my giant tallit was quite beautiful. I said a final blessing, L broke the glass, and everyone responded with a hearty "Mazel Tov!" I think the mix was just right.<br /><br />If you think that the way to deal with interfaith relationships is to make the goyishe spouse feel left out and unwanted, I disagree. I think we must welcome them from the very first day--the wedding day--if not as members of the tribe, then as lovers of members of the tribe. Love is good.Reverend Sharihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11703970918639106240noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1404468473835426599.post-56333271850777851272009-06-29T11:42:00.001-04:002009-08-29T12:19:32.622-04:00G and N: Reverend Shari performs her first legal same-sex wedding in Greenwich, CT!<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjwI6J1X0MM3uX_r5HTyNX4xyBT2tKF6pDfcEywAB3j74yD_KWA9x4t4rrj4kUZ46mJsYlT7W4AN09Lmw9sMHP4ubBTxg2RSjqKzZvKBhabeOycbH9r9HWtZnRnZCjFJJWLEmVY1p3rAWA/s400/bloggdg1507.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; float: right; cursor: pointer; width: 267px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjwI6J1X0MM3uX_r5HTyNX4xyBT2tKF6pDfcEywAB3j74yD_KWA9x4t4rrj4kUZ46mJsYlT7W4AN09Lmw9sMHP4ubBTxg2RSjqKzZvKBhabeOycbH9r9HWtZnRnZCjFJJWLEmVY1p3rAWA/s400/bloggdg1507.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><br />You gotta love the great state of Connecticut!<br /><br />I married G and N in a beautiful bed and breakfast in Old Greenwich. They wanted a traditional wedding and a good sprinkle of Bible, and that is what they got (Corinthians: Love is patient, love is kind... and Song of Songs: Arise my beloved...). I also included (as always) some personal notes about the couple and their friends and family. Reverend Shari was upstaged by the most adorable reader ever: Flower Girl A, who read a lovely definition of marriage. Brother Q also gave a heartfelt, creative reading, and later made a perfect Champagne toast about how to live, love and laugh. The front room of the bed and breakfast offered a long staircase with turned spindles, perfect for N and the bridal party to walk down. The staircase also had a large landing, about 3 steps up, which served as the perfect stage. Photographer <a href="http://kimberlycoccagnia.blogspot.com/">Kim</a> has a few shots up already on her blog. She and her partner were awfully busy getting all the shots inside, on the porch, on the lawn--I can't wait to see the rest of the photos--her work is always amazing.<br /><br />Kim and I congratulated each other on our first LEGAL same-sex wedding. We agreed that it's well worth it to go to CT to do the deed--call us if you can't wait for your state to pass a gay marriage bill. The inn in question sleeps 45 and the front room can handle 80 or so if necessary. The porch would be another perfect location for a small wedding. The beach is nearby, as are many wonderful restaurants.<br /><br />So, rock on, great state of Connecticut, and best wishes to G and N for a long, happy, healthy life together.Reverend Sharihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11703970918639106240noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1404468473835426599.post-10372613670240660152009-06-29T11:14:00.000-04:002009-06-30T15:15:47.444-04:00Y and J: Reverend Shari performs a Spanish wedding!Reverend Shari can marry you up good in Spanish.<br /><br />Y and J were a lovely young couple, both of Dominican origin. They did not want to get married in church, but rather in the living room of their uncle's house. They wanted a ceremony that expressed blessing, but did not call on any particular God's name. Although both were fluent in English, some family members were not. They wanted the ceremony to be understood by all present, and so chose an all-Spanish wedding.<br /><br />It was beautiful. The bride, the groom, the family, the friends--all were warm and welcoming. We filled the living room of the house to bursting, and I did the whole ceremony in Spanish. For a special touch, the bride and groom read a poem back and forth to each other (and I rested my tongue a minute).<br /><br />Although my Spanish on-the-fly is a bit telegraphic (More beer! No touch! Need bathroom!) my prepared, rehearsed reading of Spanish is quite good. All assembled were impressed with "La Pastora Americana" and some even thought I actually grew up speaking Spanish.<br /><br />I will admit to being nervous--I mean, Hebrew prayers are one thing, but Spanish? However, I set my intention, practiced, and it was wonderful.<br /><br />So, now, Reverend Shari offers boda en espanol. Verdad!Reverend Sharihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11703970918639106240noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1404468473835426599.post-86885120899559700552009-06-29T10:12:00.000-04:002009-06-29T10:43:03.643-04:00Reverend Shari explains it allThis is what I was thinking about when I woke up this morning:<br /><br />Religion: all cultures seem to have some, as far as I can tell. Culture and religion are often intertwined and it's hard to know where one begins and the other ends. In the best scenario, religion makes us stronger and better. We all know what happens in the worst scenario. Is there a God who watches us? or one who set the universe in motion and then keeps hands off? Is there no God? Many gods?<br /><br />so I rolled over and went back to sleep.<br /><br />Ritual: some people say that ritual without belief is hollow or wrong. I know that for me, ritual has meaning that is independent of faith. Ritual gives shape to our days and our years. Would you start a new semester with old notebooks? Not me. The ritual of purchasing notebooks, pens, perhaps a special accessory is part of preparing my mind for the new term. It marks the importance of the fresh start at hand.<br /><br />Similarly, when I marry a couple, I try to make the service fit the needs and desires of each of them. I encourage them to respect the religions, traditions and rituals of their families of origin. Legally, I can marry you up in a minute or two (cue the rushed sitcom wedding--"I do," "I do" "Inowpronounceyouhusbandandwife youmaykissthebride") but why not make it as meaningful to you both as it can be?<br /><br />My own wedding vows were straight up Jewish. I met the rabbi that day (we were using a synagogue with a catering hall, not the local rabbi I grew up with) and held the napkin without really knowing what was happening. The words that he said under the chuppah were a mix of ritually required (all good with that!) and puzzlingly odd platitudes on the nature of marriage. Something about a house with no doors you can only get in from inside...huh? One of his pronouncements was later found on a box of Celestial Seasoning tea!<br /><br />Years later, I watched my cousins get married by a Justice of the Peace on Cape Cod. That was a job I wanted! To stand with a couple on one of the most hopeful, special days of their life--to use the power of my voice to actually create a new relationship! I kept this dream on the back burner for over 15 years, but now, finally, I am doing it. Reverend Shari will marry you up good!Reverend Sharihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11703970918639106240noreply@blogger.com0