Rev Shari will marry you up good!

This past weekend, I had the pleasure of marrying two dear friends, at a rooftop venue in Little Neck. I've known A for 25 years or so, and J for about 5. It was an amazing wedding, filled with family and friends, old and new.  Everyone could feel the tremendous love in the room.  L was my trusty assistant, a role he loves. The food was delish, the drinks were flowing and we danced and laughed the night away.  It was an absolutely fabulous wedding and a joy for all.  And I personally received kudos from many in attendance, if I do say so myself.

Now, many people who did not know before have discovered my secret identity as The Rev.  I answered many questions about how I got here, why I run around marrying people up good.  So I've dug back into the archives to show you my first post as Rev Shari.  I still feel the same way:  Love is good.

Best wishes to the bride and groom.  May we celebrate many happy occasions in the future.
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This is what I was thinking about when I woke up this morning:

Religion: all cultures seem to have some, as far as I can tell. Culture and religion are often intertwined and it's hard to know where one begins and the other ends. In the best scenario, religion makes us stronger and better. We all know what happens in the worst scenario. Is there a God who watches us? or one who set the universe in motion and then keeps hands off? Is there no God? Many gods?

So I rolled over and went back to sleep.

Ritual: some people say that ritual without belief is hollow or wrong. I know that for me, ritual has meaning that is independent of faith. Ritual gives shape to our days and our years. Would you start a new semester with old notebooks? Not me. The ritual of purchasing notebooks, pens, perhaps a special accessory is part of preparing my mind for the new term. It marks the importance of the fresh start at hand.

Similarly, when I marry a couple, I try to make the service fit the needs and desires of each of them. I encourage them to respect the religions, traditions and rituals of their families of origin. Legally, I can marry you up in a minute or two (cue the rushed sitcom wedding--"I do," "I do" "Inowpronounceyouhusbandandwife youmaykissthebride") but why not make it as meaningful to you both as it can be?

My own wedding vows were straight up Jewish. I met the rabbi that day (we were using a synagogue with a catering hall, not the local rabbi I grew up with) and held the napkin without really knowing what was happening. The words that he said under the chuppah were a mix of ritually required (all good with that!) and puzzlingly odd platitudes on the nature of marriage. Something about a house with no doors you can only get in from inside...huh? One of his pronouncements was later found on a box of Celestial Seasoning tea!

Years later, I watched my cousins get married by a Justice of the Peace on Cape Cod. That was a job I wanted! To stand with a couple on one of the most hopeful, special days of their life--to use the power of my voice to actually create a new relationship! I kept this dream on the back burner for over 15 years, but now, finally, I am doing it. Reverend Shari will marry you up good!